We recently went through a tragedy. Now it wasn’t life altering, at least not permanently. But it shook my world a little bit. And boy did I not handle it well.

Our cat Luca was beautiful. She was born to our cat Abby, who ran away soon after the litter was weaned. I loved Abby, and Luca was our last little piece of her. I named her Luca after the beautiful male doctor from ER. He was Croation and exotic and beyond gorgeous and one of my favorite characters. Plus since Abby was named after the Abby from ER, it seemed fitting. (BTW, ER had just been released in a huge box set! I was on a little kick to say the least!) But unfortunately Luca wasn’t the nicest cat in the world. She pretty much hated everyone…..except me! But she was my cat and we had a bond! In late August I noticed Luca was getting a little fat. But since I was spending a small fortune on cat food, I figured she was just eating way too much! That is until September 4, ironically Labor Day, that I woke up to her giving birth…….in my bed! She delivered 4 beautiful little ones, and we settled into life with 8 cats! Until 9 days later, when tragedy struck. Due to a long list of reasons, we are trying to fix up our house to sell. So we put Luca and the kittens in the garage. It was still warm at they were safe from the outside elements….so we thought. The kittens eyes had just barely started to open but they were completely dependent still. Luca slipped out in the night and was hit by a car. (Now I can’t say for sure, but judging by where I live and the traffic problems we have, I feel I can confidently say she was hit by a speeding college student. Which is a matter of fact one of the reasons we are moving. Too much traffic for a residential area.) Luckily we have wonderful friends who saw her on the side of the road and called us to tell us they had seen her. Todd was leaving on a business trip that day, and literally on his way out of town he told me my cat had been hit. And then he left! I found myself at Walmart at 7 in the morning, in sweat pants with a tear streaked face and matted hair, looking for kitten milk supplement and not knowing what I was going to do. The day was an emotional whirlwind and I tried to care for my kids and the kittens, knowing I would be on my own for the next 4 days. But as the day went by, my extreme remorse started to turn into angry wife rage! I was royally pissed at Todd for leaving me with all this, not even offering to bury Luca first. It would have taken 10 minutes, but as he stated later he didn’t want to make his co-workers wait.

By 6 that evening I was an emotional raging ball of emotion. Luca was still in the garage, the ground was dry because of the heat, and I was hanging on by a thread. (Luckily my sister ordered and sent a pizza to us or I would have forgotten to feed my kids!) So I made a decision. A decision that has become a source of conflict in our home ever since. I called a friend to stay with the kids, another friend to accompany me, and I set off to the vet to have Luca cremated. I showed up to the vet hysterical with a dead cat in a baby wipes box, it was quite a site! I wrote a check for a whopping $115, which apparently was not a lot in the cremation business, and set off for home.

Later that night Todd called to check in. I proudly announced that not only had I had Luca cremated, but I planned on buying an urn with her picture on it, and placing it on our piano. That way Luca could be with us forever! Starring at us all day, everyday, for the rest of our lives. She would be our forever cat. Todd was obviously less than pleased! But I didn’t care!

We found a mommy cat for the kittens for a few weeks, but she couldn’t handle the extra mouths. So I bottled fed these four little ones for the last six weeks. I can confidently say I have no interest in having another baby! And by the Grace of God all 4 of them found their forever homes in one weekend. I had mixed feelings about letting them go, but Todd was more that happy to say goodbye! He will not ever be saying goodbye to Luca though. Our forever cat!