Fly for your life!!

I have 5 cats. I love these cats! And we have a great system. Every morning they head outside to be cats, and every evening they come inside so they don’t face the same fate as poor Luca, God rest her soul. Okay, actually what happens is I call for them and pace the house until each and every one of them is accounted for and safe. Luca being hit by a car clearly has had unfortunate lasting affects on me. But during the day they are allowed to be cats. Feeding 5 cats can get rather expensive. Feeding them, a poodle, 3 growing boys, and a husband is overwhelmingly expensive. So when we hit a financial snag, which happens at an unfortunately staggering amount of times still, the kids will always eat first. It’s not to say that the cats starve, but they survive on table scraps and their pure cat instincts over their regular food. Its how we found out they don’t mind tomatoes, but HATE broccoli. I can’t say I blame them. But sometimes they are sent outside with not quite as full bellies and they would hope, and they are left to be cats. They mouse for the entire neighborhood. And I think its great….as long as they don’t present the leftovers as an offering to their human leaders. Then it just gets gross and there is a lot of screaming and gagging, as well as the kids’ reactions! But sometimes, the prey needs a win. And this is one of those stories.

It was a typical afternoon. I had just picked up the big kids from school and they were doing their regular routine: fight and argue while attempting to complete their homework. I’ve learned if we don’t get it done as soon as they get home it won’t get done! So they’re screaming at each other and I’m doing what I spend 1/2 my life doing….laundry! When all of the sudden Micah says “Mama, Aslan has a bird!” I looked up and saw my gorilla of a cat running through the backyard with a beautiful large bird, flapping for its little life. I don’t know what got into me that day, maybe it was the fact that I knew the cats had regular food, but that poor bird was not going to die on my watch. I bolted out the door barefoot screaming at my unsuspecting cat to drop the bird! Our poodle, Piper chased after me. Now normally she’s a pretty stupid dog. Like barks at the wind, runs into walls, gets smacked around by 5 lb kittens kind of stupid. It’s okay, we didn’t adopt her for her brains! But today Piper was on a mission too! She flew out that door and started chasing Aslan, barking the whole way. When she caught up to him she nipped him right on the butt, which caused him to drop the bird! The bird started flapping and staggering around and I started screaming “Fly for you life little bird! Fly for your life!” And the bird did just that! It collected itself and got the hell out of there! All the kids by that point had gathered on that back porch at that point to see the show, and we started cheering as the bird landed in a high branch in a nearby tree!  Aslan gave us his best glare and wandered away. I have never been so proud of my dog! Which helped her out 5 seconds later when I stepped in her poop still barefoot. I’m pretty sure all my neighbors, people walking through a nearby parking lot, and the people in the daycare on the other side of the fence thought I was nuts! But I didn’t care! I mean, let’s be honest, I usually don’t care! But that day I really didn’t, because together Piper and I saved that bird!

Mama Ellen’s Halloween



Yesterday was Halloween. As I sit here, eating my kids’ candy while they’re at school, I’m reflecting on the day!

I think Halloween is a trying day for any parent. And I’m definitely no exception! The day actually started at 3:30 am for me. That’s when my adorable little 3 year old climbed in my bed, snuggled in close, and peed the bed! So picture me tearing sheets off the bed, running laundry, cleaning me and a toddler, and all the time cursing out my still soundly sleeping Husband for insisting our freshly potty trained son didn’t still need diapers at night!

I managed to get back to sleep about 10 minutes before my 7 am alarm went off signaling the start of our day. I got the 2 big boys in costume off to school and started on the now completely dry toddler, who was not interested in getting out of bed! But thinking he needed to be to school early I persisted and drug a little Woody the Cowboy out the door 15 minutes ahead of time. See, the school was having a Halloween costume parade, which I thought was before school. So naturally I was a bit confused when nothing was happening when we got there. It ends up the Halloween costume parade was AFTER school. And luckily a mom friend reminded me right before it started, causing this mama to run into the school with only 1/2 her make up on and wearing slippers! But it was adorable still the same.

I got the toddler home in just enough time for me to transform from frazzled Mama to Mama Ellen before we headed to the big boys’ school for the fall festival. Sometime in that 10 minute block the toddler’s cowboy hat got lost, which caused a tantrum! Luckily if you remember the Toy Story series, Woody often loses his hat! So I convinced the toddler that he was just Woody when he lost the hat, and all was calm! Until we got to the school…..

I arrived and checked in, making the adults laugh and the kids give me confused looks, and we got started. Now just imagine hundreds of costumed sugar crazed children running lose through the hallways reaking havoc everywhere they went! The hour was a blur, and then they started their costume parade. Costume parades are so funny!  I don’t ever remember having them growing up, but I also rarely remember having a costume that I didn’t make up the day before! So the kids all line up to do their costume parade, and I find it the perfect moment to unleash Mama Ellen on my 9 year old! He was not impressed at all! After school he asked me to never help out at the school again!

I took the kids to the local grocery store to do their Halloween trick or treating. I usually hate taking the kids to group trick or treating events, but I had an another motive this year. Passing out my business cards, stapled to candy, to all the other moms stuck in the line. It was going great, until again the 9 year old begged me to stop! I’ve got to say, there is something strangely satisfying about hitting that moment in motherhood where you can embarrass your kids!

Later that night my husband said he would take the kids out trick or treating while I stayed home to pass out candy, since it was my business cards still stapled to every single peice of candy! So I got the kids ready, and it’s clear they were already exhausted and cranky! My 9 year old, who changed from a pizza to an inflatable gorilla, got irritated while I was trying to inflate him and kicked me. So I kicked him back! It did not go well!  But we got all 3 cranky kids out the door to beg for candy from the neighbors, and I settled down for a peaceful night! Oh wait…I have a dog! A dog that barks like a maniac every time she hears anyone near the door, let alone when someone rings the doorbell!

After a night of listening to my overprotective poodle bark, the boys finally came home with so much crap they’re bags has broken! But still with all that candy they managed to fight over one coveted piece. And by the time the night was over 3 grumpy kids were in bed and I had eaten the peice of contention candy! It was great fun for all!

But among all this I rocked Mama Ellen. Even if I’m the only one who thought so! When I announced I was going to be Ellen for Halloween, my boys all proclaimed it wasn’t possible for several reasons:

Son 1: You can’t be Ellen! You’re too fat and she’s skinny!

Son 2: You can’t be Ellen! She’s rich and you’re poor!

Son 3: You can’t be Ellen! She likes girls, and you said you can’t stand other girls!

Funny enough not one of them was concerned about the fact that I’m not blonde! But similarities or not, I had fun! And they were mortified! So I thought, why not magnitude this and make a video! So I present to you our blog’s first ever YouTube video, with many more in the future!