We are NOT alone

Every married couple experiences this situation in one way or another over the period of their marriage. But I have to admit, I was so not ready for this to happen to us!

One night after finally get the kiddies to bed Todd indicated he was interested in having a little “adult playtime” if you catch my drift! Being the kind wife I am, I agreed even though I was exhausted! Of course our little 18 month old co-sleeping fan was in my bed but we figured it would be ok to just scoot him over a bit. But soon into the “playdate” we decided we should move him to his crib, which is in the corner of my bedroom right now. (P.S. He is moving to his own room now that its finally done!) Already out of my clothes I carefully put him in his bed. But as I was doing this I noticed there was a very warm blanket in between the crib and the laundry basket. I was pretty concerned about why it was so warm since obviously in 100 degree weather our heater isn’t on. So I started feeling the blanket and discovered a head was underneath it! Our 7 year old had somehow snuck into the bedroom without us seeing him and was hiding under a blanket in the bedroom! I started to silently panic as I didn’t want him to se my current attire and/or what was going on in the room! I whispered to my husband “Um honey, we are NOT alone!” He was really confused so I said it a few more times before I finally yelled “grab me a blanket!” Of course that woke up the baby and startled both the hiding child and Todd! He screamed, threw me a blanket, and quickly grabbed the seven year old to haul him out of there! He ran back in the room and locked the door but our sweet child started knocking and demanded to know what we were doing. Between his knocking, the baby crying, and the sheer humiliation of the entire situation, lets just say the mood was over!

Timothy Green was here

On May 17th, 1989 my dad, Timothy Green, passed away suddenly at the age of 38. I was 7 years old at the time. The day started out as a beautiful spring day. I woke up for school feeling sick. I had recently had some health problems so I was allowed to stay home. I wish I hadn’t. My dad came home for lunch like he did everyday in between his multiple jobs. I remember greeting him and then falling asleep on the couch. When I woke up he was slumped over in his chair and my mom was in the other room calling 911. I watched him take his last breath and he was gone. My mom tried everything she could do. Then the EMTs came and did everything they could do. But there was nothing anyone could do. I remember very vividly waiting with the neighbor kids for my mom and dad to come back. But when my Grandpa arrived first I knew something was wrong. Not long after my mom came home to say he had died. The days after are just a blur. Family and friends coming into town, food and casseroles being delivered. Seeing my father in his casket and having to say goodbye, not really understanding the impact this event was going to forever have on me.

My dad was amazing. He was intelligent and inquisitive and full of life. He taught us about things like art, literature, and the opera. I remember one time he turned on one of his opera records and he pretended that he was leading the opera as my little brother and I happily jumped on the couch to the music! He taught us about past presidents and politics. The 2 of us watched every debate between George Bush Sr. and Michael Dukakis. And may I say, he would be appalled by our current election! And even though he lacked confidence in himself he was a dreamer. I got that from him. Nothing was really impossible if you put your mind to it. He worked so hard to support us, but always had time to play or wrestle. Every night when it was bedtime he would get down on all fours and let us ride him like a horse to bed. I always got to sit on his back and made my brother ride on his legs! He used to sing this song to me. I think it was from the nutcracker. Or maybe 12 dancing princesses. I can still remember the tune. Not long before he died we had an earthquake. I was so scared it would happen again and refused to sleep on the top bunk in case an earthquake knocked it over in the night. He made a bed for me on the floor and stayed with me until I fell asleep. When he died he left a hole in my life. I longed so much for a father growing up. Even just a father figure who could hold me and talk to me like he did. Who could tell me that everything was going to be alright, even when everything in my world was telling me something different. That longing has never gone away. As I’ve grown up I’ve really discovered that. No matter what age you are, a girl really needs her daddy. And mine isn’t here. I still would love a father figure in my life. Someone to reassure me and tell me I’m ok. To give me advice when I don’t know who else to turn to. To just give me a good dad hug! Those are so wonderful and I always welcome them when they come along! Last summer I saw a little girl at the pool hugging her dad. I almost started to cry! I wanted to tell her to never let go, to hold on for dear life. I was so jealous of her! People used to say that my dad completed his mission on earth early and God called him home because of that. I hated when people said that! He wasn’t done here. He had 3 kids who needed him. It drives me nuts when people tell me that still to this day!

My dad died of a disease called Marfan Syndrome. It is a most often genetic disease that in his case caused his aortic anyerism. He was there, and then he was gone. It was just that simple. Because Marfan Syndrome is so genetic, all three of us kids were tested for it after he died. And we were retested every year at Primary Children’s until we turned 18. I have also taken all 3 of my kids to be tested. And my sister’s daughter and soon to be born new baby will be tested as well. One of my sons does show signs of the disease and will need to be watched until he reaches adulthood. If my father hadn’t died from Marfan Syndrome, none of us would have ever known about it. Until it affected one of us. Or one of our children. I have always believed dad took one for the team. His death was not in vain. His death was to help the generations of people that would come after him.

Most of you know in 2012 I was diagnosed with a rare type of breast tumor. In order to get healthy I had to undergo a mastectomy and total reconstruction. I lost one of my nipples because of it and have a large scar instead. My plastic surgeon strongly has advised me to get a tattoo over the scar. He said it was really important for the healing process, both physically and mentally. But I had never gotten a tattoo and didn’t really ever consider getting one. In fact, I’ve always been taught not to. So the thought of getting a large tattoo over an already sensitive scar was pretty terrifying. So my surgeon had a 2nd suggestion. Get a smaller tattoo in a less sensitive area. That way I know what to prepare for. I’ve thought about it for 2 years. It’s so permanent, how could I ever choose something that would always be with me. Then last winter I found one of my dad’s old journals. And in the front cover was his signature. It hit me right then, that’s my tattoo! A little piece of my dad to carry around with me the rest of my life. And finally, as a present to myself on my 35th birthday, I got that tattoo! And guess what?! It wasn’t that bad! I know not everyone will agree with my decision to do this. But to me it feels right and was the best move for me. I will cherish this tattoo and all it represents.

I will always miss him. I will always long for a dad in my life. I will always feel that piece of my heart he took with him. I may even always be searching for that father figure. But from now on there a little reminder on my right shoulder that Timothy Green was here.


A shout out to ABC4 Utah

My 35th birthday is rapidly approaching and I’m not thrilled about it. I know that 35 isn’t that old, especially to people who are older! But for me, who has the brain of an 18 year old, becoming “middle aged” is a terrifying thought! So my birthday has made me start thinking about my past a lot. One thing about me is I love the news and current events. I want to know when, where, and what is happening all the time! I can remember dates and times of most of the events I’ve studied. For example, we were recently watching a movie called “The space between” starring Melissa Leo. Good movie by the way! Anyway, it was about this grounded flight attendant after 9/11. In one scene she is sitting in a bar telling the bartender that pretty soon nobody was going to remember this event just like everything else that has ever happened. He didn’t believe her. So she asked him if he knew what had happened on April 19, 1995. He had no idea, but I knew! Without even thinking I stated that that was the day the Oklahoma City bombing happened. My husband was kind of shocked! But I love stuff like that. And my favorite place to get the news has always been from ABC4 right here in Utah.
My parents have been watching ABC4 since I was a baby. I remember very clearly when I was 7 hearing that Lucille Ball had died on ABC4 and my father remarking what a great loss it was. He passed away himself only a few months later. When I was 12 I loved anchor Kimberly Perkins. She was smart and beautiful and I wanted to be just like her. On the Mickey Mouse club kids could write in and talk about what they wanted to be when they grew up. Then the show would team them up with someone in that profession so they could learn all about it. I wrote to them twice asking for them to team me up with Kimberly Perkins so I could learn about being a news anchor…..and get to meet her! They never responded. Jerks! I recently found an old video recording I made of The Commish when I was 14 or 15. There was a recorded ABC4 newscast with Brent Hunsaker on it. Man, he was there a long time! Then when I was in college at Utah State University, Dan Pope came to speak at the Institute. I was SO excited! Todd and I had just gotten married and I made him come with me! I don’t remember anything that was said, but I definitely remember being so star struck!
With the exception of the 4 years we lived in Arizona and Nevada, I’ve continued to watch ABC4 into my adulthood. And now I have a little news fan son of my own. He’s the only 7 year I know who comes home from school and asks to watch the news! And his favorite anchors are Don Hudson and Kim Fischer. If one of them is off for the day he notices and demands to know where they are. One time I was watching Dr. Phil and just let the channel 2 news run after it was over. When he saw that another news was on he accused me of being a news traitor and changed it back! Last spring I got to meet Don Hudson when I attended Comic con. He was really sweet and took the time to chat with me. He even hopped a table to take a picture with me! I went down because I wanted to meet Dean Cain aka Superman. But while waiting to meet him I wandered around pretty terrified and found solace at the ABC4 booth. My son was so jealous! He still asks to see the picture we took together all the time. He was much more impressed that I met Don Hudson than Superman!
Okay, I’ll be honest with you. They’re my favorite too! Thanks to the wonderful world of Social Networking we now get the opportunity to correspond with people on a whole new level. And both Don Hudson and Kim Fischer have been SO nice and fun to talk to. Recently I asked Don if he had to stay late when the republican convention went long. He immediately sent a picture back of him looking oh so thrilled to still be there! They have been really sweet and its so appreciated. I was practically giddy when Don Hudson started following me on twitter! Haha! (ABC4 meteorologist Alana Brophy follows me too. She has the sweetest calming voice. But behind the scenes is hilarious! Just tonight she mentioned my tweet on the air and made my night! She’s fantastic as well!) But anyone who knows me knows if you’re good to me I’ll be your loyal friend for life. And they have been very good to me.
Utah and I have a very love/hate relationship. Being the mother of 3 boys, I love the safety and the community. There are a few thing I don’t love too. We’ll just leave it at that! But having that loyal friendship with ABC4 has made it a lot easier to be here! So thanks guys, this shout out is for you!