Cover your eyes!

I live in Utah. For the most part its a pretty decent place to live. Its beautiful, safe, affordable. It doesn’t always fit my personality but I can’t complain too much. But Utah has one kind of obnoxious flaw. It cannot make up its mind!! On a typical spring day I wake up to rain, drive kids to school in snow, pick up kids in the sunshine, and run evening errands in the rain again. So layering clothing is crucial while getting dressed in the morning. But a few days ago I ran into a clothing issue I hadn’t planned on. When I got dressed I put on athletic clothes because I knew I would be going to the gym later that night. So I slipped on a sports bra I have had for a while too long. Clearly it was one purchased before the mastectomy gave me an opportunity to um…..move up in size! So it wasn’t long before I realized it was way too small. My arms started going numb and I was getting dizzy. Unfortunately I realized this was a problem while I was driving….on main street! But worrying that I would pass out while driving with my kids, I knew I had to get this thing off! Now logically you would think I simply pulled over and removed it. But no, I wasn’t thinking that clearly. Obviously the lack of oxygen was getting to me. I happened to stop at the corner of Main and 14th North right when the light was turning red. Which all of you know if you hit that light right when it changes you have a good 5 minutes before it changes back to green. So I figured I had the perfect opportunity to quickly slip it off without anyone noticing. Unfortunately while trying to yank the thing off under my t-shirt (which was the only other layer I was wearing because it was that time during the day when its sunny) I got a little hung up. And without realizing it one of “the girls” had snuck her way out. I quickly realized she was out saying hello, yanked the bra off, and put her back in place thinking I was in the clear. That is until I looked to my left and saw the face of a sweet little old man in the passenger seat of the car next to me, completely red faced and trying to pretend he didn’t see me. But he and I both knew he had. And it wasn’t just because of the death glare his I presume wife was shooting me from the drivers side of their car! I was mortified!! I looked straight ahead and prayed the light would hurry up and turn. It was the longest light in the history of lights! But an eternity later it turned and I got out of there as fast as I could. When we got home I quickly got the kids in the house and closed the curtains. I was sure a cop would be coming to my door any minute to charge me with indecent exposure! About an hour later I finally felt safe enough to emerge from the house to do one thing: throw that bra away! Word to the wise: if your bra is cutting off the circulation to you head, PULL OVER!

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