Mother’s Day

Another Mother’s Day has come and gone. For a long time Mother’s Day was one of the worst days of the year for me. We were going through infertility and mother’s day felt like it was created just to break my heart all over again. It was an especially difficult during the years that I lived away from my own mother. We went through 7 years of fertility and every Mother’s day dug deeper and deeper into me as the years went by. One time I was especially sensitive to the holiday as I  had missed my period and thought I was pregnant. I discovered I was not at church, right between listening to all the children sing to their moms and when they handed out gifts to all the mothers. I was crushed, broken, hurting  more than I knew how to express. That night I couldn’t sleep and finally left the bedroom to watch TV. When I turned it on it was on the BYU channel. I immediately rolled my eyes in pure Amy fashion! After the day we had had at church I could not imagine anything church related helping me at that time. But I didn’t change the channel right away because Sheri Dew was speaking. She is by far my favorite speaker, she always has been. She has always been able to put things in perspective for me. It was her famous “We are all mothers” talk and I felt like she was speaking directly to me. Her words gave me comfort that got me through that trying night.

Fast forward to just a few years ago. My mother’s day had gone from heartache and sadness to little homemade cards and flowers picked directly from my garden! It was nothing glamourous, but it was exactly what I had longed to have for so many years. But because of those years before I hurt for the women who might still be going through what we did. That’s when we started our family tradition of buying flowers for some of our friends and neighbors who may be silently hurting that day. It started out as just a few, and this year we gave away 12 roses. If you can imagine my little boys walked up to these women and wished them a Happy Mother’s Day and they threw the rose at them and hid behind me. I don’t know if it brightened their days at all, but it made my Mother’s Day to do it. Its a good reminder to me of those times I struggled. And what I have now.

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